Awake early, mildly anaesthetised by Nytol and luxury of having bed to self, and wallow in bed listening deliriously to Farming Today whilst vaguely contemplating tasks to be accomplished before 10.30 am (wash, dress and feed self and Infant; deposit Infant at nursery; deposit car at garage; attend IVF clinic 20 miles away for Totally Unnecessary Blood Test; complete urgent review of contract that I wildly promised would be delivered to client this morning). Despite urgency of situation, fall back asleep and awake an hour later in state of some agitation [NOTE TO SELF: Snooze function on alarm clock utterly pointless device, since neither coerces me to get up or allows me to return to acceptable depth of sleep to benefit from extra hour in bed].

Realise, as sit in traffic at 9.15am on way to clinic, that prospects of accomplishing all tasks in time available very slim indeed. Have blood test, return home and commence contract review at 10.25am, five minutes before deadline. Recognise that this is poor time and client management.

Clinic rings at 1pm to confirm, helpfully,  that according to results of Totally Unnecessary Blood Test latest IVF cycle has failed. This news unilluminating, as diagnosis of Non-Pregnancy already confirmed with three previous blood tests, also scan and rather obvious symptom of Miscarriage. [QUERY: is it permissible to be slightly relieved that there has been no miracle resumption of hCG levels, as one sometimes reads on The Internet, in view of quantities of Gin Mixes consumed over Christmas during said Miscarriage? ANSWER comes there none.]

Husband, on night shift, and suffering from severe cold, emerges occasionally to cough and shuffle sorrowfully about the place. I do not assist.

Complete contract review at 10.55pm, having broken only to collect car and Infant, make unnecessary yet expensive trip to Tesco’s [QUERY: how can one go in to Tesco’s to purchase only cat litter and dark chocolate, yet emerge some fifty pounds (sterling) the lighter? ANSWER comes there none], make sandwich for Infant, which is ignored, bathe Infant, attempt unsuccessfully to brush Infant’s teeth with new Spider Man toothbrush, read Infant two stories and sing three lullabies, and stand outside Infant’s room for five minutes neurotically checking his breathing after he has gone to sleep.

Consider going to bed immediately, perhaps with camomile tea, to maintain new year’s resolution of 7 hours sleep per night (yet to be achieved), but instead “make” dinner of miscellaneous continental meats and large glass of Rioja, and fritter away ensuing 2 hours on Internet [NOTE TO SELF: Really must try harder with new year’s resolutions]

Little satisfaction derived from eventual completion of work as in fact only amounts to approximately one third of total work planned for day. Impossible to contemplate further intellectual exercise at this hour. Decide instead to reply to email from Equity Partner to demonstrate commitment to job by working at such an hour. This elicits no response,and I resume consideration of Facebook.