Note, with passing regret, persistent incompetence in maintenance of this journal, and decide to move smartly onwards with life.

Rise in the dark and gloom to attend to Infant, now 4, who has a) fallen out of bed b) spilt cup of water on floor c) urinated on mattress. Ascertain that it is in fact six minutes past twelve and not twelve minutes past six, and immediately manage situation by confining H to Infant’s bed and taking Infant back to the Big Bed. This statement misleading, as rest of night spent on extreme outermost edges of said Big Bed whilst Infant stretches out horizontally, snoring heavily.

On waking, vow to leave house on time and swiftly ignore whingeing from all human and canine sources and briskly sprint through morning routine, dressing in black suit, applying make-up over last night’s application, allowing to hair to cascade in bohemian fashion down back in wild curls (viz. mass of unbrushed frizz), force-feeding Infant on generic multigrain cereal, dragging him cheerfully to school on three-wheel scooter, navigating school run vehicle and pedestrian traffic to alight on A624 with an impressive fifteen minutes to complete twenty five minute run to station instead of usual ten. Make good progress for first two miles; become stuck behind irritatingly slow white van for remainder of journey. Arrive five minutes late for train which, fortuitously, is running six minutes late.

Morning and early afternoon pass in vague haze of irritable tedium, filing emails, answering questions, and generally failing to accomplish any meaningful work.

Shocked and stunned to learn of sudden and untimely death of Equity Partner’s formidable and female superior at work (gender not normally relevant save in this profession). Ponder meaning of life and work in great detail. Concerned to note remainder of colleagues largely unmoved and continuing about daily business. [QUERY: Does this speak of their lack of human decency, or my over-abundance of hysteria? ANSWER comes there none].

Return home, contemplate to do list, open bottle of Rioja. Infant regales me with tale of Alan the Dragon and French Rabbit. Am unable to identify provenance or destination of said tale, but mystery cut short by bedtime.